There’s a lot of hype these days about owning your power. I like it, it’s a good thing. Collectively we are waking up to the fact that we have power and noticing the ways we give and have been giving that power away.
I’ve specialised in helping people own their power and live their truth for well over a decade now so know a li’l something about this topic. In my opinion, taking back your power is the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself and sits at the heart of all the problems, struggles and challenges in your life.
In my time doing this work, I’ve come across some common misconceptions about what it means to be in your power, so I’ll start by laying out what I believe it means.
Being in your power is when you take the lead in your life. When your most authentic and natural self is the authority of your life, not your conditioning, the internalisation of societal messages, your parents, partner, children, culture, gender, beliefs that limit you or other outdated versions of yourself that you still identify with.
Your true nature always comes through
As I was weeding my patio at the weekend, I was mesmerised for a good 15 minutes by the shoots coming through the concrete. No matter how many times I see that it still blows me away. How these tiny, delicate shoots somehow manage to get through big slabs of concrete is just, wow!
It’s a great metaphor and visual image for the power of nature, your natural self. You are the shoots, not the concrete. You probably think you’re the concrete. You might even think that the hard, solid concrete is the most powerful thing here. But oh no, the true strength is in the shoots which WILL find a way to break through that concrete.
Your natural self will always win. And when you choose to work with it not against it? That’s when the magic happens.
Misconception #1 – Being in your power means being big, strong and alpha
I’ve helped countless people find their power and without fail, the first time they feel it they don’t realise it. That’s because they have a picture in their head of what it means to be powerful which is usually very different from what their power actually feels like.
I’ve become finely attuned to recognise it when I see it and am drawn to it like a moth to a flame. A recent client of mine, upon accessing his (yes, I work with men too – I market to women but the men still come for the kingvibes!) power initially responded with a slightly disappointed and confused ‘oh is that my power? I thought it would feel different.’ It was sooooo obviously his power!
The key word in what he said is thought, but whose thoughts even are they? Not his, but those of a society and working world that reinforces a typical alpha-male type of power. There’s nothing wrong with an alpha-male type of power – some people are genuinely wired that way. But this was not him, and years of chasing this imposed view of power that he never measured up to had left him anxious and insecure deep down. He now has much more impact and influence as well as feeling more confident and content through owning his own special blend of power. You’re welcome!
Misconception #2 – Being in your power means being confident, loud and positive all the time
Errr no! It’s impossible to be confident, strong and positive all the time, regardless of what people are presenting to you. Being in your power means being whole, able to consciously express your range – the good, bad and the ugly – because you know who you really are. Also, some people’s natural and most authentic energy is quiet and reserved. This misconception comes from our societal bias towards extraversion. but introverted people have they their own flavour of power.
Misconception #3 – If I’m in my power I will be greedy/abusive/dangerous/manipulative
Unfortunately the word power has common associations with corruption and abuse. Historically, a lot of people have used their power to exploit and take advantage of others. And those we most need to be in power are shunning it through fear of causing harm.
The greedy fuckers who are up for some exploitation are quick to grab it with both hands (usually by any means necessary) because they’re ok with blurring moral boundaries for their own benefit. This kind of power is ‘power over’ – having power over other people and things – and has its place when it comes from a place of care. The kind of power I’m talking about here is ‘power to’ – the power to take action, to move forward hopefully in service of something that will benefit others as well as yourself.
Imagine you see yourself as a good person who cares about others and you have something that could really help many people in the world. Imagine you can’t take the necessary actions to get this thing out there as you’re plagued by feelings of not being good enough and self-doubt, and it goes against a mental image you have of yourself etc. This much-needed thing never comes to market and the people never get the help they need because you were too afraid to come into your power and get the job done. Meanwhile someone who’s comfortable having ‘power over’ others for exploitative purposes gets it done instead. Their main priority is to serve themselves financially, and the thing doesn’t get into the hands of those that need it.
Misconception #4 – Your power is out there
Many people look for their power outside of themselves when really it lies inside of you. Your power lies in who you are naturally and authentically. When I have a crisis of confidence about my work it’s usually because I start to doubt its value. In those moments, I tend to think ‘what am I even doing? I’m not doing anything.’
The truth is, I get paid to help people be themselves and I honestly think it’s a crying shame that my work even exists. However, the fact of the matter is that we live in a world that socialises you away from your most authentic nature through multiple systems – family, education, health, work, culture, gender etc. It takes work to uncover it again, and is not just a matter of flipping the switch.
It’s sad, but as I said earlier, you are the shoots not the concrete. So uncovering your true nature and therefore your power is easier than pretending to be something you’re not. Your power is inside you, you just have to remove the ‘concrete’ covering it to let it out.
Misconception #5 – It doesn’t come from you
I’ve saved the best until last! As much as your power is within you, it doesn’t actually come from you. Just as a toaster’s power doesn’t come from the toaster but from the electricity, you also need to be plugged into the mains. Your ability to be in your power comes from how plugged into your power source you are. And that’s where your choice lies: do I plug in or not? Do I want to live my truth or carry on living a lie?
This Source has many names – the many names for God, Source, Nature, Life, the Universe, the Force – but it’s all the same thing. There’s no denying that there is an energy that gives us the food chain, makes the sun come up, goes in cycles, makes the moon affect the tides and gives life. And that’s what you need to be plugged into to be in your power.
There are many ways to plug in – for example, prayer, meditation, gardening, being in nature, being in awe of life, surfing, being in the sea – it’s personal and the clue is in what truly nourishes you. Find that, do it, let yourself be charged up by it, then use it. The beauty of this power is that it will also show you how to use it, if you listen….
Your most authentic life is waiting for you
If you’re done giving your power away, ready to reclaim your power and live your truth, book a consultation with me and let’s see how we can work together.