People often use the same words but mean different things, which can lead to misunderstanding. This post is part of a series defining concepts and terms I use throughout my work and on this site. Next up: ‘Core truth’.
Stripped right back, Boss Ass Living is about truth. Core truth. It’s a phrase that gets bandied around a lot here. So, what is it?
I presuppose that everyone has a core self. A self that they were when they were born, with a set of characteristics, qualities and traits combined in a way that is specific and unique to them. The essence of this core self is your core truth, your truest nature and who you really are (often not who you think).
Core truth is YOUR truth, the beliefs and principles that matter to you, your guiding light to a fulfilled life of joy and meaning.
Historically and commonly, people are heavily socialised out of their truth, burying it under layers of conditioning, beliefs, programming and wounding to fit in, to survive. They unknowingly abandon their truth, adopting the dominant narratives from parents, culture, religion, society and other external influences.
We take on a survival persona to help us navigate life and believe this to be all of who we are, when it’s mostly a mental construct. And it works out quite well, until it doesn’t because…
Your core truth never dies. It can’t die. It’s you. You can bury it real good but it will always leak out in some way because, well, it’s you. The only way to stop truth leaking is to own it. It has a charge that never goes away and something owned can’t leak. The more you try and bury it, the more pain you feel in terms of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment in your finances, work life, love life, health etc.
Unfortunately, most people’s lives are structured around burying their truth and coping with the pain of doing so. For example, being in a dead relationship and throwing yourself into work to avoid the feeling of dissatisfaction and having to do anything about it. Maybe because it requires you to choose your truth over the dominant narrative of your culture on the importance of marriage and staying together no matter what.
If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”Virginia Woolf
Your core truth is your blueprint, your north star, your guiding light through this thing called life. It’s expressed through your natural talents and gifts, what you’re drawn to, what lights you up. And when you let this lead, life gets
So, if it feels so damn good to live your truth, why do so many not?
We’ve been set up!
Denying your truth starts young unfortunately. Since the intention behind most systems (family, education etc) is not to help this child before me to find and live their truth, we start out on a losing battle. Most adults are trying to make someone something for some reason. For example, helping a child excel at schoolwork so they can go on to be successful as an adult. This aim is so common most people just adopt it without really questioning it, even though the world is filled with unhappy, depressed, anxious people for whom that approach has not worked.
Fear’s always knocking about as the reason why we don’t do something! It is the number one blocker of you living your core truth. Since we’ve not been actively encouraged to follow our truth, living your truth is a courageous act. An act that sits outside of our comfort zone, requiring us to move in a different direction from the masses. Now, my hope is that one day this will be the direction of the masses but we’re not there yet.
Fear also stops us from trusting truth. Trusting our inner truth feels strange at first, as we are going against the grain of society. In a world where most people regularly give their power away, you reclaiming and owning yours is a radical act.
There’s loads of shit in the way!
Oh, if only it was as easy as flipping the switch and owning your truth, what a world it would be! Like I said earlier, you can bury the truth real good. You can bury it so well you don’t even realise you’ve done it. It’s often buried under a ton of beliefs and programming that you’ve picked up from your family and society. These beliefs and programming become so heavily entrenched and internalised, they become pesky little buggers to free yourself from.
But I’m telling you now, everything you really want (not will settle for, compromise for, make do with) is in the direction of your core truth.
You’ve got these 2 opposing forces within you: on one side you’ve got your core truth wanting to lead you to a thriving and fulfilling life, and on the other side you’ve got your survival persona hustling for it’s worth. Most people resolve the pain of this conflict unconsciously by using something to numb or zone out. This is an unsustainable resolution as it’s not addressing the real issue of not living your truth. It’s usually just a matter of time before the wheels come off.
It’s easier to release yourself from the grip of identification with your survival self than it is to shut your truth out, since that’s not possible. Shutting out your truth = pain. Stopping identifying with your survival self = freedom and joy. It’s a no brainer really!
It’s not easy to live your truth. It takes some effort to connect to it again through all the conditioning. But it also takes a lot of effort to deny your truth day-in and day-out. Since it’s effort either way, I reckon you may as well go for the one with the biggest payoff!
Have you got the courage to live your truth? Are you ready to move out of survival and start thriving?
This is what I live for! Schedule a consultation with me and let’s see how I can support you in this important quest.