It’s been on my mind a lot recently. As an excitable, passionate person there’s always a lot going on in my life. However, as I increasingly live a life aligned with my truth and not the truth of others, I notice it’s starting to feel real uncomfortable.
I’m so fucking bored of saying ‘really busy’ when someone asks how I’ve been. Or apologising for not being in contact because I’m busy. Note, I’m sick of the apologising piece … I’m also totally bored of hearing it from others, aren’t you?
When we say ‘I’m busy’ or ‘I’ve been really busy’, what we’re really saying is that we’re at the mercy of outer forces, a victim of life. Basically, ‘I have no power!’ And that’s actually not true….
“We are so busy that the truth about our lives can’t catch up.”Brené Brown
I’m calling bullshit for you and for me. So what’s really going on?
Living a Boss Ass life means to stop living like you’re a mouse in an experiment powerlessly reacting to external stimuli, and instead to live from your authentic power, the power that lies within you. To do so, first of all you need to get real with the powerless story that’s feeding the whole busy thing.
The Powerless Story
When I catch myself running the busy talk again, it’s a sign that I’m running my powerless story. My powerless story is that I make decisions based on finances and space in my diary. In that story my qualifying questions are ‘can I afford it?’ and ‘can I fit it in?’ But hold up, I’m missing a vital step here! Do I even want to? Like really, just because I’ve been invited it doesn’t mean I have to. Just because my diary has a space doesn’t mean I have to fill it. I have power here, I have choices.
We cannot afford to let ourselves be completely dictated to by external forces. That story doesn’t have a happy ending and there’s a reason that chronic stress, anxiety, depression, diabetes etc run rampant in our world now, more than ever before.
We’re living in an overstimulated world. We recognise overstimulation in babies and children and then somewhere along the way we forget it still applies to us in our adulthood.
Overstimulation happens when a child is inundated by more experiences, sensations, noises and activities than they can cope with.
I don’t know about you but I do feel inundated. I feel inundated by the barrage of messages (emails, texts, WhatsApp, Messenger etc) that people can freely send through a multiple of apps and expect me to reply to! I feel swamped by the overwhelming amount of choices available to me via the internet and because I live in one of the best cities in the world. There are also my parental responsibilities, helping my son with his homework, running my own business, seeing my friends, not to mention multiple invitations to weddings, christenings, birthdays, shows etc. I’m not complaining, just noticing and being real about the demands we have on our time.
What about me?
And where am I in all of this? Do I even get a look in? Not as an afterthought but as a starting point? I have to, it’s no-one else’s job to look after me but mine and that has to come first and all else second.
So what’s the truth?
My truth is that, like everyone else, I have 24 hours in my day and 7 days in my week. When I am in my power and not lost in my story of powerlessness, my truth is that I choose to unapologetically use this time in a way that honours my capacity, my priorities and my mental health.
I need a lot of alone time. I am a Mother and my son is the most important person in my life. I have a mission that has been slow cooking in my soul for over a decade and is just about ready to be birthed. These are my main priorities and anything else has to either support these priorities or fit in around them IF, and only if, I have the capacity. This is very different to my powerless story where there is an assumed yes as soon as I am asked.
The newer and truer way is to check whether I actually have the desire and am not acting from obligation, followed by whether I have the physical and emotional capacity to attend. Reclaiming the power in how I use my time has made a significant difference to my life. I have more peace and less regret. I am also be more loving towards myself which leaves me with more love to give. Yes, it has led to some people being disappointed in me. But that’s a price I’m willing to pay for not abandoning myself.
“Don’t set yourself on fire trying to keep others warm”Penny Reid
Life isn’t just happening to you, you can happen to it. You’re so much more than a mouse in an experiment powerlessly reacting to external stimuli, you have power, you are powerful and I’d love to see you use it, consciously and truthfully.
Powerless to Powerful in 2 simple steps
- Start by getting clear on what’s your powerless story, the current story is that’s feeding your busy. You’ll know it because it’s the one that feels like you’ve got no choice. Be honest about what’s currently driving your decisions and question your assumptions.
- Then see what’s really true for you. You’ll know that one because it feels expansive and clear.
Step 1 is really simple but can be difficult to see as it’s probably sitting in your blindspot. If you need help letting go of the powerless story that’s keeping you busy or stuck in any area of your life, join my new group programme The Path To Power.
The Path To Power
I’m currently enrolling women for my new group programme, The Path to Power – a programme that will help you to revolutionise your relationship with yourself, find and live your power in all areas of your life. Are you done with living in reaction to the world around you and want to have more power over your life? Go here for more information and then book a call with me to see whether this is right for you.