Boss Ass Living (verb)
[bɒs as lɪvɪŋ]
When the core Truth of who you are is the authority of your life, not your conditioning. When you live, love and lead YOUR way.
See also: deep authenticity
For women taking back the authority of their lives from culture, conditioning & inherited patterns and roles
Hello and welcome. I’m Lola Fayemi, the woman behind Boss Ass Living.
I’m a Coach of 20 years, an EFT (Tapping) Practitioner, Writer and Facilitator.
I support women to:
- Reclaim the authority of their lives
- Stop hustling for external approval
- Stop organising themselves and their lives around other people’s expectations
- Cultivate a life that actually belongs to them.
What I’m really here for
At its core, my work is about self-leadership and authorship.
Helping people take back the authority they have unconsciously handed to their family, culture, systems, past identities or survival strategies, so they can live, lead and choose from their own truth rather than the inherited conditioning.
I work with women who are ready to live in the centre of their own lives according to their own truth, not Daddy's, Mummy's, social media's, cultural ideals of what a “good” woman, leader, mother, partner or professional should be or anything other than the truth of you.
What Boss Ass Living means
Boss Ass Living means living a life where YOU are the authority of your life.
And by you, I mean the core truth of who you are.
- Not your parents,
- Not society,
- Not culture,
- Not the rules that bind you to your gender, nationality, race, sexuality or respectability.
Of course those things do shape us.
But they are not the most powerful part of you.
And if you want to live a fulfilled life, they have no business leading your life,
Testimonials
Lola has helped me to shine.
"Lola helped me make things in my life click! I started coaching at a time when I felt surrounded by uncertainties and lacking in self-confidence. Through our sessions she enabled me to realise the opportunities available to me and supported my growth in reaching them. Our sessions helped me understand limitations I had set upon my self and work towards recognising and overcoming them. Our sessions gave me a space to bring many things to the fore, reflect on them and take leaps forward - not something I always believed I could do.”
Alicia, Executive.
Helped me to be the woman I aspire to be.
Coaching with Lola really helped me establish techniques to embrace changes whilst not becoming consumed by them. I would highly recommend Lola as a Coach, she is very patient, brings out our subconscious which impacts our actions and she provides a safe environment to be at one with our emotions - using it as fuel to continue progressing in the world.
Ivy, VP People
I have grown enormously since working with Lola and always felt completely safe to be myself.
Lola has a rare ability to deeply understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. She helped me identify what was blocking me, gain powerful new insights about myself and use my own strengths to move forward, both personally and professionally.
Throughout our work together, I felt genuinely listened to, understood, and supported. Never judged. As a result, I gained greater confidence, a clearer sense of what I want, and the readiness to stretch beyond my comfort zone in ways I hadn’t thought possible.
Valeria, Global Executive
About Lola
I’m a Londoner, a Brit of Nigerian heritage (Yoruba and Igbo), a long-term partner to a wonderful man, a mother to an autistic teenager, and a carer for my elderly mother. Like many, I’m living the reality of the sandwich-generation life.
I understand, through lived experience, the juggle and the emotional load that comes with this stage of life. I know how essential it is to create a life that works for you as you are now, rather than striving for an imagined or idealised version of how things should look - based on God knows what!.
Professionally, I’ve spent over twenty years working across sectors including Tech, Luxury, Healthcare, Media, Criminal Justice Recruitment and the Creative Industries. My work spans private practice as well as roles as an Executive Coach and Facilitator within organisations.
Alongside this, I led a pioneering project bringing coaching and leadership development into prisons for young people, supporting incarcerated youth through deep, transformational work. It shaped my understanding of power, power dynamics, truth and what change really requires when the stakes are real.
I’m neurodivergent, a late-diagnosed ADHDer (though AuDHDer is probably more accurate), which shapes how I see and make sense of the world. And the co-host of the Juicy! podcast.
About my work
I work with people at the point where their truth can no longer be postponed.
My clients often arrive at moments of life reorientation. They find themselves disoriented when old identities no longer fit and something more honest is asking to take shape across their life.
This usually isn’t because something is wrong, but because something deeper is reorganising.
Here, Disorientation might just be Divine Reorientation”
A role that once worked no longer does.
A way of leading now feels hollow.
A version of yourself that kept you safe is now costing too much.
My work sits where inner truth meets real-world consequence.
Where identity, leadership, family inheritance, power and systems collide, where the body starts asking for a more honest way of living.
I support people to lead their lives, families, teams and communities with greater integrity, impact and self-trust. From truth rather than from performance or obligation.
This work is for you if:
* The cost of living someone else’s version of your life is getting to be too much
* The version of success you have been living no longer compensates for all the misalignment in your life
* Your body has been grumbling (maybe screaming) “NO” where your mind once pushed through
* You’re tired of performing growth and want something real
* You sense that your life, leadership or work needs to be re-authored, not just improved
* You’re into self-improvement but are not seeing real transformation in your life
Core beliefs my work is grounded in:
Truth is not just an abstract thought, it’s something to live.
Truth is real, embodied, relational and expressed through how you choose, lead, relate and move in life.
Systems are everywhere, they don’t just live out there in society and organisations, they live in bodies and families.
Which means real change has to include ‘invisible’ forces that deeply impact us even though we can’t see and touch them. Like the nervous system, lived experience and generational patterns, not just insight, strategy and willpower.
Discomfort isn't bypassed, it's respected.
True transformation includes discomfort. One of the main ways people stay stuck is by constantly trying to 'get rid' of discomfort rather than xx and take the transformation available in the discomfort. Discomfort could be a sign that you need support moving through it, we all do. As the saying goes: *everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.*
The work is empowering and we don't override reality.
My work takes place in the world we actually live in. The world where gender, race, class, neurotypes, sexuality and culture shape experience whether we consciously acknowledge it or not. Identity matters. Context matters.
You don't need fixing. There is nothing wrong with you.
I don’t work through the lens of moral superiority or binary thinking. I'm less bound by arbitrary notions of what’s “good” or “bad.” Not because I’m sitting on the fence but because I question where those standards come from, who they serve and whether they’re even right for you. This work is about what's true for you. I don't know what that is but in order to help you find and own it, I have to watch my biases.
This work is spiritually informed, not spiritually performative.
This work is rooted in a deep spiritual orientation that is lived, embodied and grounded in real systems, not abstract ideals. As well as coaching, my work draws on Numerology, energy work, Astrology, Human Design and more….
My work is:
* Grounded, embodied, emotionally intelligent and reality-based
* Attentive to systems — family, organisational, cultural, societal
* Honest about power, harm, and inherited patterns
* Interested in truth, even when it’s inconvenient
* Slow enough to be honest, precise enough to matter
* Oriented toward wholeness and lived integrity, not performative self-improvement
* Supportive of leadership that is relational, accountable and human
* A space where complexity is welcome and nothing needs to be bypassed
* Taboo-free — I’ve seen and heard it all; very little shocks me
* Deeply empowering, without being shallow or hype-based
* Inclusive of mind, body, nervous system and lived experience
* Supportive, spacious and honest without collapsing into comfort
* Designed to help you reclaim authorship over your life, leadership and choices
My work is not:
* Performative spirituality or spiritual bypassing
* Mindset-only coaching or motivational reframing (though it *is* empowering AF). We’ll include your mind, we just won’t let it run the whole show.
* Hustle culture promoting, empty hype or “think positive and push through” narratives. My people are often PhD level over-functioners and who do not know their limits
* Work that overrides your body’s truth
* About fixing, optimising or upgrading you
* Neutral about power, harm or inherited patterns
* Fast, formulaic or one-size-fits-all
* Designed to keep you comfortable at the cost of truth
People who work with me often tell me they experience:
* more comfortable in their own skin
* more grounded and rooted into what’s real
* more empowered to make aligned decisions in their life
* less split between who they are inside and how they live or lead. * more unapologetic about who they are wherever they go
* more positive impact on the people in their lives
Basically their outsides match their insides
This work tends to ripple outward into relationships, boundaries, leadership, creativity and how you move through the world.
You’ll feel more resourced, more yourself, and more able to move through the world from internal alignment — not management or performance.
It’s empowering because it’s integrative, building capacity not just insight.
People come to me when:
* success no longer compensates for misalignment
* their body has stopped tolerating what their mind once could
* they’re done performing growth and want something real
* they sense their life, leadership, or work needs to be re-authored — not improved
I don’t offer quick fixes or borrowed frameworks.
I offer space, precision and partnership in service of living with greater integrity..
This work often resonates with:
* People who are outwardly successful and ticking those life boxes but internally misaligned and unfulfilled
* Leaders tired of performative growth and the circus of the workplace looking for something more real
* Cycle-breakers who are out here doing their part to end generational wounding in their families and can’t un-know what they know
* People whose bodies no longer tolerate falsehood
* Creatives and neurodivergent people, especially those the world wasn’t designed for
My Credentials
Where this work comes from:
* a degree in Psychology
* CPCC (CTI) coaching certification
* ORSC (systems coaching) training
* EFT Matrix Practitioner training
* Somatic Parts Work (Embody Lab)
* pioneering coaching and leadership work in prisons for young people
* and a *lot* of lived experience